A fine Saturday

Apart from my sinusitis flowing from my nostrils & making my nose red & tickling my ears, my energy is better & I've had a fine Saturday. My niece's youngest celebrated her first birthday (I think this was the third event marking it!) & altho I was surprised it was today - I had written it in my daybook for tomorrow! - I enjoyed seeing her & her 3 siblings & other family. Babies are always good to raise our spirits: lots of laughter, etc. The kids don't quite recognise me, but I know how to keep my distance so no one is upset. And my how her two oldest, the boys, have grown!

And another plan changed: I was going to take some of my stuff in a suitcase over to my next sublet, but my friend was not feeling well, so we cancelled until tomorrow.

I've started putting together my tax papers to take to my accountant. My trip receipts remind me that my daughter & I were in New Mexico at this time last year...good times.

the house of self-expression

"On February 18 the Sun moves into watery Pisces and your 5th House of Self-Expression, which bumps up your creativity and your acting ability. Your capacity to convince other people grows when you are inspired by what you're saying or doing. Fakery won't make it since you're likely to be busted for being untrue. But when you're honest with yourself your ability to line up the support of others will be very high."

Fooey....

I've been waiting for the train sales for the end of March to be posted & the one I would happilly have taken is over $500 for a cabin. I suppose I'll have to fly after all. (I could NOT sit in a seat for 3 days, & I wouldn't be able to sleep in one of the berths...) There may be a slim chance that towards mid-March there will be more sales & I'll keep checking. Because...even tho I was sick, I did so enjoy my train trip across the country in September. I would recommend it to anyone. However, this does give me a few extra days in T.O., since I don't have to budget for the 3 days it takes the train to get to Edmonton.

Yoga Poses for a Cold

This is one of the ways I'm going to treat my sinusitis...along with gallons of tea/water, breathing, & positive thinking. This is how my ailment started in October - with a sore throat, which turned into a cough & inability to sleep. THIS TIME I'm going to be ACTIVELY treating this thing!

massage, yoga & more

I just found out - via FB - that there's a new massage therapist in Yk, AND a new drop-in yoga class within walking distance of my place! Well all I can say is - I hope they're still on when I get there! Having the massage therapy while on this leave has helped SO much - my right shoulder is totally well & my lower back is....fine. But of course I have to remember to keep the circulation & good energy flowing thro my body when I get back to the sit-down work world!

Unfortunately I've been hit with another unknown ailment (unless it's still the aftermath of the food poisoning), which has me not walking more than to the subway & back & to where I go, to sit (dentist, hand drum circle), or lie down (massage). Some small shopping trips in the area, but I think that's it for my great plan to walk - see Jan 21 entry! - every day for at least an hour. I did well, while I was at it. So, of course I can do it again when I'm feeling more motivated & well.

I'm reading Joan Halifax' book BEING WITH DYING, in prep for a weekend course at my Buddhist centre. I read a bit, then let it settle in. The other day I read the part about everything eventually dying/ending, all the time. Including our plans, our bodies, our memories, our thoughts. If you live in the moment - well, that's all you can do, since not all of us have figured out how to stall time. So of course it occured to me that bad/good things die/end; my leave, my headache, my anxiety about getting my teeth cleaned next week, the Harper years (!), my flight to Halifax, my impatience with certain people, & with annoying strangers. That thinking (& my meditation practice) should help me let go of judgement, grudges, even indifference...well, I think I'll be working on that for quite a while. I can't wait for this course.

I've been lucky during this leave to take part in low-key weekly events like the hand drum circle, the yoga class, & the morning shamatha group; I have especially enjoyed exercising my voice with the drum, with proficient singers & others with crackly voices like mine. I find the Nish songs going thro my head now & then, as I used to be haunted by top 40 (in days gone by) & my fave singers/music in the last 10 years. I remember sometimes trying to pull in songs while on retreat, when we had no radio, TV or other entertainment. I found myself humming when I couldn't remember the words - & this is one thing I really like about vocables in drum songs. No need to learn any words - just imitate the sound. It's a wonderful thing, to open up the voice, one of the paths to & from the heart & mind.

Mary Oliver is always right!

“The most regretful people on earth are those who felt the call to creative work, who felt their own creative power restive and uprising, and gave to it neither power nor time.”

~ Mary Oliver

horoscope for coming week

"This would be an excellent time to round up new role models. You need to feel far more than your usual levels of admiration for exceptional human beings. You’re in a phase when you could derive tremendous inspiration by closely observing masters and virtuosos and pros who are doing what you would like to do. For that matter, your mental and spiritual health would be profoundly enhanced by studying anyone who has found what he or she was born to do and is doing it with liberated flair."

love spontaneously given

"We do this test with those close to us, and with the world too in a more general way. We ask, "How much do you love me?" For practitioners, this kind of question leads us away from a connection to our core: the buddhanature and deep potential we have within to awaken. It leads to all the misery of co-dependent relationships, rather than liberation, and more so, freedom. This is not to say that we should not have love and care for others, or enjoy love and care back. But love and care are best when they are not demanded or expected, but spontaneously given!"

- Dzigar Kontrul Rinpoche

scorpio today

"Your spiritual side is out in force right now, and may lead to an epiphany or rebirth experience. Let it happen -- fighting it would be unwise, and you are sure to end up better off in some way."

Valentine's memory repost

This morn as the radio host prattled on about Val Day I had two flashbacks to disappointments. Silly, but it bothered me.

A few years ago a staff was fundraising for several weeks, on a good cause. He was selling "Valentine's gifts". You would PWYC & he would deliver a small Valentine's token gift to "your sweetie", & the money would go to the charity. Fine. I gave a donation but said I had no sweetie, so never mind the gift.

The gifts were delivered...in our workplace mailboxes for all to see. And for all to see were the empty mailboxes, like mine.

And I flashed back to all the flurry & expectation in grade school, over Valentine's Day. (My strategy was always to "Send" everyone a Valentine, whether they were my friend or not, & whether I liked them or not.) Some years I got none, other times I got one from the teacher. How silly, but there was still that rock in the belly that said I didn't have a special friend that year. Silly times, silly memories.

looking back...and forward

My daughter asked me today about how I started the quilt I made for her some years ago. I described it, & then looked up the blog I kept while making it. I forwarded her the site, & then spent the next hour reading it & remembering how caught up I was in the planning & sewing, (especially the hand-sewing, which I really enjoyed)& how wonderful it was to finish & deliver it. I finished one other quilt & left a third "in process"; I found I didn't have the motivation to do it without my quilting mentor to guide me. (I'm not good at following written directions, can't read patterns & don't have a sewing machine - those are all my excuses!! I also don't have a sense of colour & style when it comes to what fabrics "go" together. I suppose I feel intimidated, since my mentor has made 300 - yes three hundred - quilts...)

But I have a secret desire to finish that third one - by hand. I was talking to a friend about a quilt one of her aunts gave her; it was made probably in the 1940s & was all done by hand - she says you can see the irregular stitching & the different coloured threads. I couldn't help thinking - "I can do that too!"

I'll have a whole long winter in Yk to do this....should I challenge myself now, or wait & consult the master?

It also occurs to me that I've gone thro several creative genres in the past 10 years - incl knitting, quilting & painting, tho the first I've always done. (Like writing.) I suppose they're like Picasso's "periods" of painting in different colours.

Pictured is the "star" quilt I made for my daughter.

Scorpio horoscope for today

"You feel a surge of great energy that comes from out of nowhere and threatens to carry you away with it -- but you're in charge, of course! Direct it and you can do almost anything you want today."

I acknowledge this prediction because it's just how I feel! Yesterday I had such a slow-paced day, not feeling well & not wanting to do anything (picked up some bananas & gravol - just in case!) except have a nap & stare at the TV...I had enough of it! I woke up this morn still feeling sluggish, but with some kind of directive that got me out to the hand drum circle (meant to stay 20-30 minutes, but ended up there the whole 2 hours). Got back to the sublet & had an appetite - however I'm going to go easy & stay with the simple foods that I ate yesterday. (After I see my acupuncturist this aft I may treat myself to a "real" dinner.)

And I'm more convinced than ever that my queasiness the other nite was from what I ate....I must remember to practice what I preach, ie. these illnesses I get will end. I'm always the "woe is me" pathetic person when I'm sick - ie I can't see the end of it. But illnesses, like everything - are temporary - even the life-long ones like my epilepsy - & even if they don't officially END they morph into something different.

slowing down

Because of another upset stomach episode I'm again eating totally simple food & seeing my homeopath this aft for a tune up. Man I hate being sick....& if this is a result of enjoying myself & doing so much - well - I sort of saw it coming.

And now that I have a date for the return of my sublet owner, I look around in dismay at the "spread" of my stuff from room...to room...to room...from the teas, some foodstuffs & second hand clothes I've bought, Xmas presents, the pile of library books & DVDs & my writing & art materials...now all these have to fit in my 2 suitcases to take to my next sublet in a couple of weeks. Of course I've been thro this many many times while travelling & only once had to mail a box of stuff home when they didn't fit in my suitcases!

The photo is of a dish of heirloom carrots my daughter cooked. Yum!

moving around...until today

I have been on the move all week - walking AT LEAST 2 hours every day - incl yesterday 4 hours on my feet & walking up & down stairs in the morn, & AT LEAST 3 hours walking in IKEA.

So - today I'm taking a break: reading, watching a DVD, being really lazy (that's OK since it snowed all nite!) & will only go to the library to return some books & pick up a coffee (it's my coffee day - hurray!!). That's it!

Unless something really exciting comes up...